Sometimes it is due to their lack of interest or maybe due to shyness but these difficult questions really must be answered beforehand because no want a romantic-comedy marriage that can really be difficult to live up to.
If you will not have the courage to ask these questions then you will deal with it later in your marriage life. Nothing can't be hidden forever once two of two stays in the same roof so this is the right time to get an honest answer from your partner before it could damage your life together.
1. How do you prefer to settle issues and conflicts?
Our family though plays a significant part in our development may affect how we address issues we face in our relationship. Either they see something in their family that they do not want to bring into the relationship or marriage life they plan together or it can be brought in like a reflection or pattern from the way a relationship in the family goes. Knowing insights about how your partner would prefer to resolve issues will help on how you should react when times needed.
2. Are you ready having kid/s?
Sometimes people get into marriage, yet they still prefer to enjoy both of their time alone together without kids bogging them. Others want to have kids immediately while others plan not to have. In addition to that, planning is important from pregnancy down to rearing the children and all. It could be stressful, but with hard work, things should go well.
3. Will experience with ex helps us or destroy us?
Having a real and honest heart-to-heart talk to the person whom you plan to have a life together helps you discover the conflict he/she had with his/her past relationship. This will give you hint if they are already free from the hurt of their past relationship or they are still hanging on.
Many of the marriages just waste because they seem not to be able to handle their partner's jealousy level. Each may have different levels of insecurity in the body but sometimes this thing could trigger conflict and issues in your marriage.
4. How important is religion to your partner?
It isn't true all the time that if you love a person, whoever he/she is she will be accepted that way. There are a lot of circumstances in relationship that the two had to split up because they have conflicting believe or faith affiliation. Even though love is the primary reason why people married each other, the difference in their religion could not help to strengthen their bond.
5. Are we both financially capable?
Income, as well as the liabilities of each person in the relationship, must be discussed beforehand to avoid conflict later. It could also be a need to know their spending habits and priorities on their finances to let you know if you can support the person or let them handle this independently.
6. Do they prefer to preserve autonomy in some areas of their life?
Sometimes your partner isn't ready yet to share those private things with their significant other. Some do not want their partner will pry their privacy. Knowing if you could take what they expect from you will help you assist if you want to have tied the knots with them or talk it out and reach some compromise.
7. Are you in a good relationship with the parents?
Dealing with in-law can really be challenging especially if they do not like you for their daughter/son. In fact, lots of marriage or relationship failed because of the parent's reaction or conflict. However, even if the parent does not agree with their marriage if both of the couples are united in handling this, marriage will just be fine.
8. How important is intimacy to your partner?
Most marriages went cold because couples aren't on the same page when it comes to their context of intimacy. Their partner is expecting something that could be absurd or too much for the other partner that causes an issue in their life. Before it reaches this level, you must ensure that your partner is happy and satisfied with their emotional need.
9. How they perceive cheating, to what extent of flirting one is allowed?
This includes having communication with their ex, watching porn, being friendly with people on social media...things like this could trigger issues and taint trust that you have build when you are still in dating period. Different people have a different concept of how cheating is for them. Some people are okay when you talk with others, while some are possessive and refraining you from doing so and you could not be so sure unless you will get answers on this.
10. Do you know other ways of saying 'i love you'?
Expressing or demonstrating love to your partner isn't just by one particular language. People are so creative in expressing emotions that is why they got languages for their emotions and when you could not decipher it, it may cause havoc or misunderstanding that could result in your partner distancing you.
11. What they are looking for in a life partner?
This gives you insights into what they want you to be. Your partner could have preferences like you must know this and that, you must be a good host, you must be presentable all the time, etc. When you know what is expected from you then you can work on not neglecting that so they will be proud and happy that they have you as their significant other.
12. What is their marriage goal for ten years?
You know there could be lots to work on in marriage life. It could be purchasing their home, raising kids, or travel together. No matter what is the goal the two of you has, it is important that both agreed and work on it. The difference on their goal isn't really favorable in marriage however, nothing doesn't work if they know it beforehand and determine to make the two of them last in marriage life.
13. Where do we stay?
Did the two of you purchase a place to become your own home after marriage or you need to stay in the apartment with his/her family? Depending on the financial capacity of the couple they must discuss things and plan ahead about this future situation they need to deal with.
These 13 questions may be difficult to ask but it isn't something that you can overlook. You need to get answers from these questions to avoid ruining marriage life together and dealing with divorce or alimony issues.
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