How To Forgive Someone Who Is Unapologetically Sorry
Sorry may not voice out, it could be silence but that does not mean a person did not feel sorry they'd broken someone's soul. A dog can bite a stranger who tried to help if you make the wrong approach. A snake will bite you, it is their instinct. If you get hurt or die in such a way it isn't the snake nor the dog that kills you. It is the venom, it is rabies.
We should not hate nor lost respect to someone who hurt us. As an upright response, you should be hating the mistake, the sin, the fault and never the person that makes it. Though it should be like that, it could be tough to completely let go of pain so here are some effective techniques you need to apply.
1. Be at peace with the current time
Live for whatever it is in the present. Take note that there must nothings in the past that could ever make you feel bad if you are not living in the past. What is gone, is gone. What they did can no longer be undone. It is ours, therefore to let things go. If you live to the truth of today, no lies and mischief from the past can put a test to your patience and good heart.
2. Focus on yourself
You have to change your perspective of viewing things. Instead of expecting something from the person whom you probably cared for or love all this time, expect yourself to emit more positive vibes rather than them. Forgive what's unforgivable. Respect their act and decision. If you shift the focus to yourself you will realize that it is still you who has the hold of everything. No one should get more powerful or influence the way you feel.
Drowning with the scapegoat they made believe and instead of twisting the blame to them because you think that was right, self-harm is the next thing possible. No matter what, the damage is done and though resentment vying on the edge, you must not let it push you on the cliff.
3. Own your part on it
Disrespect, injustice, and everything happen because you let it too. Somehow, somewhere you let things happen...either by the way you accept the treatment, either by the way you project an image of yourself to the other person, you are still a part of the mistake or on the change of the behavior now.
You may not see what is happening inside the person's thoughts, inside their heart but if you are part of the story, you are partly to be blamed on too so if you are in misery today do not wait for the other person to console and forgive. The strongest one can spew change the soonest possible. They are the one that could actually deal everything including the change and definitely deserves all the relief.
4. Forbid yourself to feel otherwise
Each day could always be tempting to feel contempt. When every time you see or think the person who wronged you, it is your test that you have to surpass with flying colors. There is nothing mightier than a person who grabs the opportunity to kill the invisible evil that could lurk you to feel like hell so stop brooding what they did. Stop reminiscing the wrong act. Stop it.
5. Be loving even when displaying your pain or your anger
You are not tolerating bad behavior. You are in fact, helping your enemy unpacks the baggage they've been carrying. No rational being would not suffer knowing they hurt someone they love; even if feeling sorry was not visible with your eyes. A softer tone and a clean slate of heart will get you far. There is no need to be hurt all over again if you will only understand that no one goes through life without suffering.
The snake is hurt when they bite someone, dogs hurt too. When you punch someone, it is impossible not to feel pain your hand too. Focus on what's needed for you to move on. Extract the venom or have an anti-rabies injection and live.
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