Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored rather than on anything it is poured.
This quote is so true, however, no one is ever cool all the time especially if provocations from the other is becoming frequent. An inappropriate attempt or reaction to someone who is angry at you would likely to escalate the situation. In most cases, it could ruin the relationship but we do that want this as a result. In as much as possible, we want to resolve things so it could be back to normal and lessen tensions or stress, here are the 5 strategic ways you can react when someone is angry.
1. Pause To Listen
When someone confronted you with angry behavior, you are not asked to react on it immediately. It is because when someone is angry and losing control of their behavior they become emotional and use provocative words that for you might be below the belt or disrespectful. Or could it be for whatever reason, some people do not understand this but don't worry. You are in the right place to know how to deal with this situation.
It could be your superior at work who is angry at you or a family member. No matter who they are you need to pause to listen to why they are angry. Understanding does not entail hearing what the other people said but understanding even the hidden message that is beyond or may not be voiced out. When you know their interest it would be easier for you to understand their argument.
2. It Doesn't Matter If You Agree Or Not To Them
When someone is angry and tells you their feeling, it doesn't mean that you agree to their point of view. When a person is not in agreement with the other, then it is a fact that they do not see things in the same way so it is best to hear the side of the angry person unless he/she is angry at you then it means you are involved. If you are involved, it would be best to refrain from voicing out your emotion as this will just agitate the person. It is best to hear them first in all aspect before you can formulate a response but do in a way that the person still feel your good intention to resolve the issue and this can just be done if you do it with care. You do not have to push your views or suggestion to them, but rather find a common ground into which you both have an interest and learn to compromise.
3. You Have To Put Your Feet In Their Shoes
You do not have to be apologetic if you know you shouldn't but if you only have to try to put your feet on their shoes and imagine yourself walking on the life they had the less likely you will be critical on them.
Often times, people react disrespectfully to the other person because of how they behave or do without knowing the reason behind it. If you know the person has integrity then find it at fault on something or another, they must have a valid reason behind it for them to react that way so there a much need for you to calm down even if it is at the moment so impossible.
4. Focus Your Energy To The Problem, Not On The Person
When things become dangerous, or you see it has a tendency to harm you, it is our impulse to be protective to yourself. Nevertheless, you have to know the person from deep within to know how they must react to that. We say, there isn't anyone who has the right to harm anyone even if they are angry at you, however, this does not guarantee that a person would act like so. It would be better to walk away if needed so you both get calm for some space or time in between.
In most cases, when confronting an angry person this does not makes you put in danger right away. Verbal abuse or mental abuse brought by pain or being upset is the one that could trigger a person to demonstrate violence or threat. If you see that tension in the situation is not lowered at the moment, then choose to walk away. You have ample of time to raise the issue again later when both are ready for the amicable talk.
5. Don't Speak When You Are Angry
Never, ever talk when you are angry. Talking when angry will make you have a speech you will regret after. Once the words are out, it would take time to make peace with the other rather than holding back. This is because when you are involved, anything you say will be accepted as truth. It would be difficult to rephrase statement after.
Whatever your responses in an impulse towards this situation are valid, even if you try to reason out that it is out of anger. Still, you had already disrespected them or hurt them with your words or reaction and such is a big contributing factor why later it would be difficult to bring back that good relationship to them. Have you notice that there are people, even though they are family or so close before but at this time aren't talking to each other anymore? They wanted to keep distance, be silent and don't want anything to do with the other even though it is already a decade since argument or conflict happen? If you have less perception of this, you will understand if it happens in your life and you will learn that it is better to hold your tongue or to pause and keep safe distance first before coming for resolution.
Bottom Line
Life is full of ups and down. People around you are amazing even if you see them dull. Absolutely, you could not underestimate anything around you and loss wonderful thing such as friendship or relationship. One way to do that is to know how you respond when someone is angry at the situation or to you so you will not have to burn bridges or face life again minus them in your life. I hope you learn so much from this article.
No comments:
Post a Comment