Conflict is like a virus in marriage because one partner or both will eventually think or works like it is you against each other when it should be the two of you against those problems. When one spouse picks to start a fight, there is a high tendency that the other wants to avenge for it. If only we are more Godly and follows a truly Christian way of dealing it, revenge won't get on its way because both of you will be more open to forgive and be more willing to give extra mile to the other.
Of course, considering the numbers of conflict in marriage or relationship we know that not all couples out there or in a relationship has this wisdom in interrelationship with other, hence this article should help them.
What are the possible conflicts in marriage/relationship and how you can resolve it?
1. FAULT And WEAKNESS-- No one perfect and everyone commits mistakes or sins, however, the weakness of a person becomes the faults of his/her personality in which the two of you should meet. Say, she/he talks too much or he/she doesn't talk to you. The real problem here is the inadequate understanding of the person's personality or traits that make you fail to understand why he/she behaves as such. On the flip side, it is the lack of compassion of the other partner to extend their patience especially if it is something that they keep overlooking for a long time. It makes them feel like the basin is already full or he/she is already fed up with that and now, compromise or talk is not acceptable.
If this is the cause of the conflict, it will result in you trying to change your partner's attitude or behavior but the thing is, only God can change a person. Don't make harsh reproach on this matter to him/her but pray everything to God. A peaceful and gentle conversation is better in soothing that hardened heart of your partner because of argument or conflict to give way for a good dialogue.
2. Unintentional Hurt or EMOTIONAL Pain--Conflict makes heated conversation and no resolved done, but rather it will take you both to the road of blaming. When words become hurtful and provoking it would really difficult for one to keep a cool head or hold back yelling and screaming unprinted oaths to your partner due to frustration and anger but, it isn't should be the case. As much as possible, it is advisable that you will stay away or keep distance when you sense that you could not hold back yourself from saying hurtful words to the other.
Different person has a different personality and some, let's accept it are so unforgiving when you things become unacceptable. Just because you are already comfortable with each other you can already be unmindful of the words that come out of your mouth. Make no mistake because emotional injury takes too long to be forgotten. The words a person heard will keep in their memory for as long as they see your face. It is something that will be a reminder of bad things and so, it is so difficult to resolve this conflict but it is possible.
An emotional injury does not have much power to cause conflict in relationship or marriage if only the couple gives each other the benefit of the doubt. Things that remind us that it's not them talking or that they didn't mean to hurt us but it is the anger that triggers it for which this triggering factor may be rooted way back to their past experience, or childhood. Do not stir up more anger by throwing harsh words but strive to create a calm environment where you can make gentle conversation but this is impossible if one is unwilling.
3. PREFERENCES--Each one of us has preferences during dating. When we realized what we got is different from what we truly envisioned to have, conflict starts to show. Sometimes in the dating stage you thought that your different is the pulling factor why the two of you get a click but now that you are married to each other, these differences become the reason why your partner is becoming your enemy or rival now.
If this is the case, accept that you got blind selection for a partner and do not be stiff in achieving peaceful living by pointing out this is the only way you two can have it. If the other partner strongly thinks of something and you have other preference, understand that this is not a sin. It is either, you decide to do your own way separately or one must give up their preference to take his/her partner's want and together they do it. The differences in preferences of couples make one of them feel that their preferences weren't honored or acknowledge and so, giving up just to please the other did not come in picture willingly. There is bitterness or hurt left within the person so examine closely how much they value certain preferences so you can understand your partner better.
4. HORRIBLE SINS-- This may consist of infidelity, destructive behavior, and the likes. Sins are sins and there is no way you can combat evil influenced behavior by doing another act of sin. Compassion must be given to the sinner in such a way that you mustn't take into records those that mistakes committed although this is rarely done in an excellent way because of remembering the sin of your partner can instantly cause drift and distance.
Compassion, on the other hand, isn't about forgetting sins happened but letting go of anger and those need to get even with your partner. A spouse may find it difficult to forgive the other and may want his/her partner to make amends which is not the right approach always. Forgiving is a decision even if the other is unrelenting for change in act or behavior. Just remember that in forgiving someone you did so many benefits to yourself rather than the person you forgive.
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